Bias and preconceptions: caution for coaches

As coaches we practice keeping an open mind while coaching – avoiding conclusions and judgement. But even before the coaching begins, might we already be forming assumptions about our client?

The start

It’s our first session with a new coachee – they greet us in reception before leading upstairs and through an open-plan office. We make small talk as we walk to a meeting room, where two glasses of water are set on the table. We both sit, take out notebooks and smile, ready to begin. 

Or perhaps the session is online. We wait with camera on in Zoom or Teams, until the coachee joins. Eventually they unmute and we make introductions, asking about each other’s weather before beginning the session. 

What impressions do we hold at this point? As a trained coach, we may imagine our mind as a blank slate, free of assumptions as we wait for the coachee’s story to unfold. We know how to listen, how to avoid jumping to conclusions. We understand the power of saying little ourself, allowing the coachee to think and talk. 

But is our mind really a blank slate as we begin this new relationship? It’s worth considering how much information we may have already gathered by this point, consciously or unconsciously. 

What do we already know?

We may have been briefed by HR or the line manager about this individual’s coaching needs. Or we might have received their coaching request form. We may have seen a summary of their career or skimmed their LinkedIn profile. We almost certainly know their name and job role. Our brain is already forming expectations based on what we’ve heard and read. 

In the initial seconds upon meeting, our senses absorbed the coachee’s sound, look and feel. We rapidly assessed their gender, ethnicity, size and physicality. Their accent and demeanour may have hinted at background, education and personality. Their first interactions with us – whether they were warm, business-like, energetic or distracted – started to shape our view of them. Their clothes and office or home environment gave us further impressions. 

Even before coaching starts, we’ve assimilated a wealth of information and input about this new coachee. Without even trying, our brain is drawing on our experience and previous patterns, starting to predict what’s ahead.  

Defending the castle

The trouble is, as the saying goes, “First impressions last”. Research shows that our opinions, once formed, are very difficult to dislodge. We’re strongly motivated to retain them – we need to feel competent and capable of good judgement.  

We’re psychologically pre-programmed to defend our opinions. When faced with disconfirming evidence, we feel a tension known as cognitive dissonance which needs resolving. So we might:

·       Deny the evidence, undermining its legitimacy.

·       Exceptionalise, telling ourselves that it only applies in this unique case.

·       Reframe the evidence so that it actually supports our view. 

Most insidious of all, and hardest to spot in ourselves, is our tendency to overlook inconvenient information. We naturally pay attention to evidence which confirms our views; we don't even notice information which contradicts them. This is confirmation bias. 

Our ability to make rapid judgements of our fellow humans was useful when encountering strangers in primitive times. We quickly needed to assess potential for threat or cooperation.  

But this ability can work against us as coaches: we may be coloured by early judgements which linger; we may remain attached to our impressions, overlooking contrasting evidence. We may continue to hold a view of the coachee which is limited, incomplete or plain wrong. This will hinder the coaching relationship. 

Letting go of assumptions

How can we overcome our natural tendency to form quick and early judgements? We can’t avoid it entirely, but we can reduce its impact if we:

·       Maintain awareness that it’s our nature to form swift impressions and hold onto them.

·       Ask ourselves, before we start coaching, what impressions we’ve already formed of the coachee.

·       Notice when we’ve formed a view and enquire what led us to hold it.

·       Notice information about the coachee which surprises us, and ask ourselves why.

·       Work with a broad range of coachees, which will widen our experience and challenge our assumptions. 

We’re used to suspending judgement while listening to our coachees. We’re adept at spotting their limiting assumptions, their deletions, distortions and generalizations. But it’s helpful to watch our own preconceptions too. What have we already decided, even before the coaching begins?

This article is designed to share thinking with Coaching Reading members and the wider coaching community. It follows my session on Thinking Patterns and Bias, which was delivered as part of our meeting programme.  

Jonathan Bowring